Saturday, April 28, 2007


So I came up with the idea for this blog as a way to make myself write more. I thought if I could make little entries about nothing it would be good practice. So, here goes. The idea is I take a noun suggested to me by someone and write a few words about it and hopefully entertain some people in the process.
Today's word is spatula. It has to be spatula, and here's why: on my way home last night, I was trying to think of what word I would pick to start out with if I were to choose one myself. The first word that came to mind was spatula. It's a fairly innocuous item, friend to stubborn grilled cheese, helper of pancakes. But I dismissed it, as I wanted someone else to pick the word for me.
So this morning, I went to brunch with Significant Dave and Associate Matt at Isis. Oh my god was it yummy. Many foods that required the aid of a spatula were consumed. And so, I'm explaining the idea behind my blog to Associate Matt and he said,"So, you just need a noun, like any word, like, spatula?" I nearly fell off my stool. How did he know??! That is too amazing to be a coincidence. He only could have read my mind. He must be some kind of psychic. A psychic with limited capabilities. If he was a full-fledged psychic, he would have known the olive in his Bloody Mary had a pit in it. But still, it was amazing enough to me that I made a mental note to check for Associate Matt under my bed next time I retire at night. Maybe he heard me say it in my sleep. (He could hide under my bed, you know. He's quite slim.)
So, spatula. I, myself, am not a friend to spatulas. Having the attention span of soda fizz, I tend to wander off when I'm making eggs, leaving the poor spatula lying defenseless against the side of the frying pan, where it acquires melt-marks on the handle. I could remedy this with a metal one, but I am an overeager spatula user. I scrape the hell out of the teflon if I use a metal one and it gets all in my eggs. I'm not entirely sure if teflon is part of a balanced diet.
Bill Murray tickles a girl with a spatula in Stripes. He calls it the Aunt Jemima treatment. And you know who loves spatulas? Weird Al. He mentions getting a spatula tattoo in one of his songs. And he has an advertisement for Spatula City in his movie UHF. You know who loves Weird Al? Me.
So, in conclusion, me + new blog + Weird Al = spatula tattoo needed on my ass. Or I'll give someone the Aunt Jemima treatment.

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